I've stopped buying cards for people because they are a waste of money. If I really wanted to say what the card said then I would write it down on a piece of paper or actually say it to the receiver. $4? I'd rather add up all the money from all the cards I could give them, and hand them a big fat check. Which would you rather?
This whole realization happened when the Greeting Card Nazi at Walgreens told me that my card envelope did not match the envelope I was suppose to have with it. Well...we can't have that can we? After all I'm sure EVERY card in that store is purchased and others would be very upset about their envelope. I told the woman I would not buy the card without that envelope because it is the one I wanted, so I left empty handed. It was a throw down...she was very upset by my immature actions of "switching envelopes".
There are a few occassions when I will splurge on a card, but I'm determined to find a better money or gift card holder then a three dollar and 99 cent, folded piece of cardboard with a pretty picture on it and some cursive font that makes it look more meaningful.
Sympathy cards I will always send because you never know what people are going through at that time. It is a very emotional moment so a hallmark card with some perfect words may be exactly what that person needs. Once in awhile I will come across the Perfect Card, a hilarious highlight to an inside joke that really hits the nail on the head, and I'll cave and buy it. This is a very rare occasion and usually I find them at Target, believe it or not.
Weddings, of course because it is just easier as well as big functions like Bah Mitzvahs and Graduations.
So far I have found some pretty awesome placeholders of cards for occasions that just don't make sense to buy them.
Thank You - If someone has really gone out of there way or would appreciate it, it's probably worth sending a short note.
Baby Showers - Book for the baby, signed with love and a few words on the inside
Bridal Showers - A frame with some advice or words of marital wisdom and your John Hancock in place of the picture. You can also just cut out a piece of paper and do the same, tie it to the bag.
Kids Birthdays - a tag, used by the same wrapping paper would be fine. The kid's not even going to remember who gave it to them even if there is a card.
Adult Birthdays - Buy them a drink instead. You will have NO resistance against this.
Holidays - Really? I mean maybe Mother's or Father's Day if you are ungracious enough to not get them an actual gift, but a hug, kiss, or dessert of some sort will usually do.
Valentine's Day? I'd rather a $4 candy bar or a sundae or seriously....just do the dishes and vacuum. You're probably more likely to get some that way.
So...I've stopped with cards, and to my surprise, no one has cared. It seems to be a win-win. I mean what do you do with cards anyways, Unless they are in pencil, you can't reuse them. So, here is my poem to you Hallmark.
I'd spend too much time in your isle,
To read the same cards as last year,
The one where I pick on their age and their eyesight,
Then a "do what you want" on your Birthday cheer.
I know they are nice, but I have to be crass,
To me, greeting cards are a pain in the ass,
Always falling over and overstaying their time,
Charging over a dollar, should just be a crime.
So for your baby? A book.
On Thanksgiving, we'll just eat,
And on your birthday,
Your next shot? My treat!
As far as Special Days,
I'll hand deliver your surprise,
If you're confused as to who's it's from,
Then open your eyes!
$4 is way too much,
Have you watched TV?
That could buy a week's food,
For that child, starving and 3.
Now that'd be a present, saving a life.
I don't think Snoopy on Shoebox, is quite so nice.
My foot is down. I'm out of this trap.
I'm done with your overpriced, words on paper crap.
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