COMMIT TO WRITING

Since I found so many of the "50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive" by Robert B. Cialdini to be interesting I'm dedicating yet another blog post to one of them. No. 17 to be exact, which is "Writing things down improves commitment." The example was that: Group A was asked to volunteer on AIDS awareness program at local schools, and was asked to commit verbally. Group B was asked for the same kind of volunteer project, but was given a simple form to fill in. 17% of volunteers from Group A actually showed up to their assigned local school. From Group B 49% of volunteers showed up.

This goes to prove part of the whole "SECRET" philosophy for anyone who has read the book.  Writing down a commitment or goal helps you commit to it or keep your eye on the prize.  Without having something to physically look at it is hard, with everyday thoughts getting in the way to stay focused or better yet, to have a reminder of the things you wanted to do.

I am a firm believer in lists, it helps me to stay focused as well as gives me a checklist of what I'd like to get done.  Then again I believe I suffer from ADD and the slightest things can distract me, so writing down what is important keeps my mind going forward rather then drifting off to the next thing.

The take away from this: writing something down is a way of further committing yourself and taking responsibility.  Keep lists, make notes on your phone and better yet...if you  have employees or children or friends that you are looking for a commitment of a task from, have them write it down.  It' one more step to ensure everyone stays honest.

POR FAVOR

There is a book called "50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive" by Robert B. Cialdini. I read a re-cap on the 50 today and found myself in awe with at least 15 of them. Number 13 is "As Time goes by, the value of a favor increases in the eyes on the favor-giver, and decreases in the eyes of the favor-receiver." Well ain't that some bologna!


The re-cap consisted of this "Researchers asked a group of people in the random office environment to exchange favors and then rate the value of the given/received favor in their eyes. A few weeks later the same employees were reminded of the favor, and asked to evaluate the favor again. Favor-givers consistently assigned higher value to a given favor, while as the time passed by, favor-receivers tended to assign lower value to the received favor."

Well, I'm a big favor-doer and I like helping others. I'm quick to volunteer to help and I genuinely do not think much, if any of anything in return. This sort of mentality makes me re-think who it is I'm going to help in the future. Luckily I've already had the not giving a shit attitude as part of my new year's resolution so I'm off to a good start.

What this proves to me is a few things. Most definitely the "What have you done for me lately" attitude is applied by everyone, even on a personal level. That people will always be fighting an uphill battle because society holds on to negativity much longer than they do positives.

Then finally that people, by nature are forgetful.

As the favor giver you have given your time, thought, maybe money, maybe more...but you have given (hopefully unselfishly) to someone else. As humans we enjoy recognition when we do something good or nice, it shouldn't be the motive behind it, but it would be unrealistic to deny wanting a pat on the back. As the favor receiver... well we wouldn't have asked if there wasn't some chance that the person would say yes, would we? and hell...people are still good right? So of course as time passes we will be on to the next thing, slightly remembering the favor, but onto other importance's in our life. After all the receiver receives, and we as humans are much more likely to emotionally connect losing something, then gaining. They say thank you in the moment, maybe send a thank you card or give a phone call to thank again the next day, but then are on to the next chapter.

So take form this what you will. When you're the giver...be happy that they said thank you at all I guess, and if you need a pat on the back then think twice about whom you do favors for. As the receiver....we gotta lot of work to do here. Say thank you of course, expect to return the favor if possible and most importantly in a week or so...follow-up with another thank you. The bigger the favor, the larger the thank you obviously.

ARE YOU LINKEDIN?

LinkedIn may not be as fun as Facebook, but if you're a professional, in any sense...it can't hurt.  you're achievements, experience and interests are all in your profile for the subscribers to view and it's what I can best describe as an online resume.  If you haven't checked out my most recent Newsletter on the post http://bitchsesh.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-marketing-newsletter.html  and read the top article on the new addition: LinkedIn today, then I suggest a quick click.


If you're an intern, an aspiring anything, a teacher, a nurse, a doctor and most definitely any office job you need to sign up immediately.  Network, Browse and get involved with others in your industry.  You're already 5 steps behind. http://www.linkedin.com/  Get to work!

MY MARKETING NEWSLETTER

So....I also have a Newsletter.  I'm a huge nerd when it comes to Marketing and Advertising.  Below are issues 1-5 with the links.  Keep in mind the first dates back to January so some of this may be old and off date (aka. Superbowl ads), but I think you'll enjoy them.

  The latest ISSUE 5:
   http://bit.ly/eGTX78


ISSUE 1
http://scr.bi/dQe4z9

ISSUE 2
http://scr.bi/dTMwEU

ISSUE 3
http://scr.bi/iiLiAW

ISSUE 4
http://scr.bi/gi1PO9

SPRING SMILES

Not only is the weather getting nicer, but so is humanity!  Spring has an effect on humankind and it is wearing off on everyone, from what I can notice anyways.  No one is saying that we have found the secret to World Peace or anything (beauty pageant contestants rest at ease knowing your goals are still reachable), but boy is it nice to see smiles.
People were miserable this winter and I'm hoping we are in the clear from that for a few months.  Even the Northeast is allowed a few cranky weeks, but let's look forward to flowers, ocean breezes and longer days.  Try to laugh and smile as much as possible and when you do, notice it's contagious.  Experiment with some patience, dabble in doing nice things for people and you'll be surprised at what Karma has to offer you.  For the time being, let's say goodbye to snow shoveling, tight rope walking down the ice on the driveway and five layers just to get the chill out.  Hello Spring!  We've needed you...people have had their panties in a twist and it's time for a change.

Smile!

CO-ED BABY SHOWERS

Awhile ago I was asked to do a post on these and I really didn't know how I felt about them, since women have never really had the choice to go or not.  After much thought I'm going to have to agree with the person who emailed me and say that this is just a horrible idea for everyone. 
First of all, mothers to be....no man, not even your man, wants to sit through one of these. I barely want to sit through one of these.  So, since I"m sure someone I know will be offended because they have had one, or were thinking about it, I've decided to list some rules if you are planning on having a co-ed baby shower...although I think you're crazy.

1) You need alcohol, no doubt about this.  I'm not talking about a fruity punch or mimosas, you better have access to beer and it better be open bar.

2) Don't even think about playing any stupid games like don't say baby, or how many inches is my belly.  The only games that should be going on is the one in another room where you have provided a tv for the men to frequently check the score of the game. They don't think the games are cute, no matter what they say they do not want to be here.

3) The gifts for the guests?  Better not be some cute little candle or a bunch of candy covered almonds wrapped in a baby basket with a stork.  You want a co-ed shower - EVERYTHING needs to be co-ed friendly.

4) Lots of food, and lots of meat.  The huge fruit salad and a few croissants is not going to cut it.

5) Be prepared for every single one of these men to probably say bad things about you all day and into the next week.  No male is going to leave and say "That was such a great shower, I can't wait to go to my next one."

6) If you have this on Sunday during football season, a weekend when there is a Yankees/Red Sox match-up or during any sport's playoffs.  You're asking to be hated.

7) Learn to unwrap presents quickly, and hope that your grandmother doesn't care that you are not passing around the blanket she hand crocheted for the baby.  This is why these events are not for men.

Are you getting it?  This is a horrible idea.  I would never drag my man to one of these things...I don't care if you are my best friend, my sister, my cousin, my mother.  If you have had one please enlighten me on the reason it was Co-Ed?

TOP 10 FRIDAY: A QUICK GUIDE TO NETWORKING

I don't care what you do! Regardless of if you are in sales, or you are a librarian, networking is a skill everyone needs.  We've all heard the saying: "It's about who you know". Well, who you know most definitely helps.  That and not being a complete dumbass!  Below are 5 reasons you're horrible at networking and another 5 on how to hone in on your already practiced networking skills. You never know...after this post you just might get a foot on the path in the right direction or at least discover that the reason you suck really is "Just You"!

YOU SUCK AT NETWORKING IF:

10.  YOU ONLY HANG AROUND WITH PEOPLE YOU FEEL COMFORTABE WITH.   Meeting people and networking is about stepping out of your comfort zone.

9.  YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING/ YOU'RE NOT INTERESTING.  How do you expect to meet people when you don't do anything? If you have nothing to say or anything worth listening to, it's for a reason...You Suck!

8.  YOU'RE A LIAR. - Lying always comes back to bite you in the ass.  If you have to tell a lie to sound better, you're not fooling anyone in the long run.

7.  YOU'RE NEGATIVE - You complain, woe is you, life is about what you were handed and how bad it
sucked,  the weather is crappy AGAIN, and most importantly... others constantly feel bad for you?  People arn't going to want to socialize with you more, they are thinking of how to get rid of you so they can move on with living their not so depressing lives.

6.  YOU ARE SELFISH - See #1 below on why this trait is bad if it's something you've been told more than once.

IMPROVE YOUR NETWORKING SKILLS BY:

5. SMILE AND DON'T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. - It's life! Unless you're at a funeral (then we need a post on inappropriate times to network) then be happy you're alive and meeting new people.  You never know what they will bring to the table and what you can learn from each other.

4.  LISTEN - It's not all about you here, I know, shocking!

3.  KNOW YOUR 5 MOST INTERESTING STORIES. - No two people are alike and there are definitely some characters out there, but everyone loves a good story.  Know yours and conversation will never be hard.

2.  BE CONFIDENT. - There's something that everyone does really well.  If it's what line of work you are in, being a mother/father, playing a sport or working out. Maybe you just know a lot of interesting people.  You do have things to say that other people do not know.  If you're prepared, (#3) then you should be confident.  People are confident in you, when you're confident in yourself.

1. DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FIRST. - I saw this on someone's twitter status the other day (again, sorry I don't know who) and it inspired this entire post.  Networking is about what you bring to the table.  If you walk around wondering what everyone else can do for you, you're not going to get very far. 

I'd like to think I'm good enough at networking to qualify in writing this post.  I thoroughly enjoy meeting new people, I love learning about their life experiences and most importantly I love doing what I can to make a mark in people's lives...or at least be a memory for a moment. 

Happy Friday!

THE DENTIST

I love my dentist.  I've been going to that office for more than 20 years.  My family goes there, the same woman is still at the front desk and it's like they are part of my family.  I don't like how talkative my dental hygienist has become.  It's not so much that she's talking, it's that she's talking and not working.  I don't have all day to clear my schedule for a teeth cleaning....not that it needs to be rushed, or that it needs to be formal, but I believe there need to be some guidelines. 

I have a few friends in the ever so competitive dental hygiene school so I ask you....are you taught  "proper techniques for casual conversation" during routine visits in any of your studies?  If you are, my hygienist has clearly forgotten them.  I'm by no means upset with her, I just think that my dentist needs to have a refresher course on if you're talking (especially about yourself) keep on workin lady!  The only time instruments and tools should be taking a break is when I have to answer, which should not be often....clearly an addition to my Dental visit Rules Book.  i can't be alone on this one....am I?

I'VE MADE UP MY MIND

Well....I've sort of made up my mind.  There is so much to do now that it is getting nice out that I don't know what to choose first.  Normally it is something practical and boring like exercise or cleaning, but instead of pondering all day, I've decided to roll the dice.

Not literally dice, but if I write the things down that I could do, place them in a hat and draw names just like back in the day, I will have my decisions made for me.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I make decisions all day, I just want someone to make my decision for me."  Well then, I believe we have a system here.  I can't wait to have a decision to make...life for me just became so simple.

THE TWO STEP

There are two major steps to becoming successful at doing great things, and by great things I mean putting ideas to work, projects, changes and processes.  Everyone gets an idea from time to time and what sets the successful apart from the rest of the pack is first and foremost:

 STEP 1.   STARTING
  I can't even begin to imagine how many ideas have been overlooked because they were never started due
  lack of motivation or planning.  If you want to do something you have to make the first step to doing it.

Then the equally important second half of being successful is:

STEP 2: FOLLOWING THROUGH
People start things all the time, but it is continuing, pushing through, overcoming obstacles and  growing your ideas that really make this work.  Without Step 1 there is no Step 2, and without Step 2, well you might end up just looking like a jerk with a good idea.

These both seem like common sense and simple enough concepts...but why do people continue to struggle with both.  Making changes and doing new things is never easy...but easy is boring.  Get started..take a step.
 

THANK DOG!

I am admittedly all over the place. Anyone else?  I try to have structure, but I even have a job where day to day is different and what seemed to be a day I thought I had under control, can go from 0 to 60 in seconds, and often.  If your life is anything like mine you are constantly trying to organize it and miserably failing.  Sure, you go to work Monday through Friday and you shower every morning, your routine in the shower may be similar from day to day, but have you ever tried to incorporate a daily practice to be more organized or productive?  Did it work?  Any advice?

I've tried to keep a planner, in case I begin to forget things, which surprisingly I do a better job at keeping it all in my head then getting it in any sort of calendar, but I will use it a few times a month, then forget I have it for the rest of the year.  I think the point is you're suppose to use it everyday, right?

I make charts and personal expense trackers, they go unused and once I place a list to the side and stop working on it, I might as well just throw it in the garbage.

The one thing that has calmed my life down and given it more structure is something so basic, my dog.  It may be okay for me to be on a messed up schedule, but I can't be responsible for messing up Brody's little happy life.  Obviously he eats on his schedule and all that, but it's nice to know that his actions, size, and even demeanor will remain the same, regardless of how crazy my life gets.  I don't have kids yet so I can't compare the two, but I'd like to give a shot out to Man/Woman's Best Friend on this post.  To Brodster and his K-9 kin, THANK DOG for you!   

The Brodster...

His Neighbor and PIC...Cali

Ms. Lola and Brodus

Dexter...the terror

Brody's baby buddy...Jenny

The one and only Mr Pacey.

ARE YOU TIRED GIRL?

"Cause you been runnin through my mind all day!"  Maybe not quite their mind, but definitely running ALL DAY!  Why is it that I, We, Us as a society are always in a rush?  I get not wanting to be late and all, but what about a casual dinner at a restaurant, a nice coffee on Sunday at Starbucks, or even sitting in traffic, pissed off when really in no rush to get anywhere.
This is the one life we get and it seems like we are all in a race to get somewhere.  The only finish line is death people.  You may not be one of the "We's" in this, in fact you may be the opposite, doing everything like a lazy slug, but that's a post for another day.  We need to slow down.  Everyone Chill the F Out!  Be more observant so you can enjoy life.

If you are in kindred spirit in this sprint of life that we are running, I hope like me, you will at least try to slow down.  Enjoy the food you eat, the people that surround you and the things you have the privilege of doing everyday, that others may not.  Most people just need to give themselves permission to slow down.  Life will continue on and it will be much more voluminous and enjoyable.

So hurry up and start now!


Now this is enjoying life.....

A GAME OF CHANCE

Someone in my Facebook feed had a quote the other day (I can't remember who sorry): "I believe in Second Chances and Last Chances. Unfortunately, most people don't recognize the difference between the two until it's too late." 

This stuck with me for two reasons.  The first being that you're not always going to get a second chance so don't bank on it in life, and if you do you should run with it and make it all you can, otherwise why waste everyone else's time.  It will or at least should be your last chance.

The second because second chances say a lot about both sides of the parties that are involved.  On the giving side it shows patience, forgiveness and hope.  Then depending on what is done with the second chance for the taker it shows commitment, enlightenment and determination. 

Second chances done the right way can be very powerful.  By human nature we are all going to screw up, but that's how we learn lessons and it's what we do with those that make us the people we are today.  So give a second chance when it's warranted, and don't make your second chance your last chance. 

DO ME JUST ONE FAVOR

I dont' really ask much from people.  I mostly just tell jokes, and express my experiences, but for anyone who does read this...could you please just comment on my post instead of on my Facebook wall so others can see it. (You can even do it Anonymously).  You see there is a point in having a blog and it is not create discussion...entertain...engage...and maybe someday make money off of lal those things.  So...it is my request that if you have something to say, please do it.  Defend me, Offend me, Suggest a Topic...amuse me will ya?

TOP 10 FRIDAY: POOPS - Courtesy of JDP

Okay I was stumped on what to write so my very giving other half offered up his general knowledge of Shadoopie.  Do not read while eating!

10. Ghost Poopie - The kind of poop where you swear you pooped, but when you look to see if you pooped, NO POOP! (Why you lookin at your poop?)

9. The Clean Poopie - The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nada on the toilet paper.

8.  Wet Cheeks Poopie - The kind that comes out so fast your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

7.  Gee I wish I could Poopie Poopie - The kind where you want to poopie so bad, but all you do is sit on the crapper and fart a few times.

6.  Second Wave Poopie - This happens when you're done poopying and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realized you have to poopie some more.

5.  Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poopie - The kind where you strain so much to get it out your practically have a stroke.  this could leave you breathing heavily.

4.  The Dangling Poopie - The poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopying it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it lose.

3.  The Wet Poopie - the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you won't get skid marks.

2.  The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - The kind of poop that hits you when you're in your car in the middle of a traffic jam.

1.  The Lincoln Log Poopie - The kind of poopie that is so huge that you have to break it into little pieces with the toilet brush before flushing it.

So...that's all disgusting, but I write about girlie shit all the time...so here you go. Happy shitting! TGIP - Thank God For Pooping!

BORN THIS WAY

In honor of Miss Gaga and her recent album, "Born This Way", I dedicate this post that has absolutely nothing to do with her or her music whatsoever. 

For years now, especially after buying a house, I've been brought to the uneasy realization that I don't really know shit about shit.  I mean I know a little about a lot of things, and I know a ton of useless unimportant conversation topics, but when I break it down...none of it is of huge importance.

So who knows all the things I wish to know?  Men...I'm not sure if they are just born with the knowledge of car and home improvement handyman type shadoopie, or are handed a MANual, but I don't think it's fair.  Certainly I've learned my fair share of WTF to do home ownership situations, and I know a car part or two, but up until a week ago when I ran out of oil, I had no idea that my stove top (gas) did not require oil to work, I didn't really care.  Now, I'm slightly irritated.

Either all this knowledge is possessed in their man junk, which of course, women are not born with and us ladies are just going to have to deal with learning as we go OR all you fathers and dads to be can stop favoring sides and against our will, drag us away from our barbies (probably by using bribes to buy us more barbies) and show us some shit like you did our brothers and boyfriends and husbands and well...the general male population. 

This is no joke...I'm writing this with my POKER FACE!